Posted in 2016, family, Grief

If I Had More Time with Them

The scenario goes something like this.  As I sat at the sewing machine that my mother once made things with, gazing out the window, with the view of the memory garden I started this summer something happened.  My mind starting trickling in things I would do with my parents if I had just a short period of time with them now.

I’d ask my Dad to dance with me to country music, in the living room, the restaurant, where ever we may be.


I’d watch more old movies with my Mom, she loved them and I do too.  Black and white are better than color by the way.


I’d ask them each the hard questions.  The questions that will never be answered about my childhood,  their life, etc.

I’d visit more.

I’d explain how they raised me affected me in hopes to visit more about it with them.

I’d hold their hands.


I’d take notes as we looked through the old photographs and write stories from what they might say.

I wouldn’t just do the easy, the fun, the okay things with them.  I’d do the hard, the healing, the memory making things.  I’d combine them to make a mixture of our story as parent and child.

mother daughter

I’d ask them if they knew I loved them.  I’d make sure they knew before we went our separate ways.

I’d tell them how much their grandchildren are making me a better person and how much the family misses them.

I’d hug them.  I’d hug them as long as I possibly could.

This won’t happen, I know.  I won’t get the opportunity to sit down with them, visit with them, to just be with them.  But writing this post helped in this journey I’m still on.  The journey of losing a parent (or two).  Words help me process my feelings and I’m hoping someone else can take something from my words as well.  To feel less alone, less unsure, less whatever they are feeling. Perhaps to inspire to connect with the loved one they haven’t for awhile.

Grace is a gift,



Posted in 2016, Farm, Farm Post Friday, marriage, Raising Them Up

Farm Post Friday – 7/1/2016 – And The Water Will Flow

Farm Post Fridays

Life on the farm is at a tad slower pace now that wheat harvest is completed, well at least for the farm wife and kid.  The farmer of the family this past week has finished planting some double crop soybeans, furrowed a soybean field, and did various other things.  His list is still long but even in the busy times he loves it.


Milton furrows the soybean field so we can lay out irrigation pipe to flood irrigate.  You might recall last year I mentioned about a center pivot and a new well-being dug.  Well the center pivot didn’t happen so we laid pipe back out this year, but are using the well that was dug.   That’s just the way things go sometimes.  I must admit I enjoyed this year better as there wasn’t knee-high wheat or straw to deal with.

Farm marraige 2 soybeans

The soybeans are very pretty right now I think!

farm dog soybeans

Our farm kid drives the UTV while Milton and I unload the pipe and hook them together.  Although this year she did want to try to lift the pipe and help there.  You might find that interesting or surprising after my post “what if I don’t want to farm, Mom?”


mer soybeans irrigationsoybeans farm wife

The irrigation motor will pull water from the ground for us to irrigate the crop.  This pond will also be used to irrigate the soybeans.  We will lay out more pipe to assist with that process.

Pasture pond

While I was at my town job this week the farm kid and dad had to do some work on the battery in the irrigation motor.  They finally got it started, which means they had to go along and open the “gates” on the pipe so water would flow to the soybeans.

I love the hat she got from Vacation bible school this year!  Seriously awesome for the farm!

We will have to go out twice a day at least to check how things are going with this field. One night this week my husband got up in the middle of the night to deal with the center pivot we have on another field.  It needed to be reversed or shut off I can’t recall which.  So as you know, farming isn’t a 9 to 5 job!

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This is a team.  A team of three.  Things have changed and finding the balance isn’t always easy for us.  Three different personalities, ages, upbringings, and passions.  But we will conquer them together, as a family.  A family that is build with a foundation of God and dirt between our fingers.  Always grateful for what has been provided for us.

Farm Family

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