Posted in 2019, Grief

Mom’s Blue Fabric

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I was just going along my merry way, pressing fabric to organize my quilt room and as the iron hit the fabric the thought of my own mother came to mind.  The smell of the heat to the fabric brought back a familiar scent.  Even if my eye (memory) can’t recall something a smell can instantly awaken the memory bank at times.

The fabric had been my mothers.

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I know I am not the only one that this happens to and it doesn’t just happen with fabric for me.  My mother’s old bottle of perfume that sits on my dresser does, a glance out of my peripheral vision of the painting she did or a snapshot of days gone by all stir within me bittersweet feelings.

Both my parents passed away a few years ago and so that is all I have.  Bittersweet memories and feelings that visit on occasion.  I am so very glad I have these because although there is heartache in some of the memories it is mostly a feeling of gratitude and love.

Between Lori Holt planner with fabric storage advice and Netflix’s Marie Kondo it’s got me inspired to make the room I spend  a lot of time in better.  As I go through my fabric stash I should probably just toss the light blue fabric.  Odds are I won’t ever use it because it is so very thin you can see through it. Definitely not good quality for a quilt.

But I just can not.  As I pressed it I thought of Marie Kondo’s “spark joy.”  This piece of fabric may not  be useful but it brings me joy, so it shall settle into my stash to live for now.

Sometimes in life – joy trumps useful.

May you find joy in your day and remember to make memories with your loved ones while you can!

Thanks for stopping by!

Julie

Posted in 2018, Adoption, family

The Month Of November

November is a month  when we normally start to wind down around the farm.  This year has been one for the books in regards to our farming operation but today I do not plan to blog about the farm.  I wanted to visit with you about a different topic, one that is far greater to our hearts than farming.

Over 10 years ago we were blessed to become parents to our youngest daughter through adoption.  For those of you that don’t know, November is National Adoption Month.  For a few years I did an adoption series which you can find here.

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Before we made our way through our adoption journey I didn’t really give adoption a great deal of thought.  Here and there through the years it sprinkled itself. My first major interaction with it was when my oldest daughter was adopted by my first husband, which was a pretty simple thing he took care of mostly.  But other than that I only knew a few people who were adopted.

We/I went into the adoption sector of life without having a clue and today as I look back I feel like I am a very lucky lady.  When people tell me they are beginning their own journey I instantly get the feeling of what that felt like for me. For someone who usually  likes to be in control and know what is around the corner,  adoption was a tad hard for me at times!

The point to which brought us to adoption was one that began clear back when I was 26 and still married to my first husband, I had no clue that the decision I made when I was 26 would affect my life in this manner in my 30’s.

Jumping to that stage in my life I found myself married to a man who had no children and raising children were closer to being grown than small children.  I started this motherhood thing at 17 and had in my mind once they were raised I could live my life the way I wanted! 🙂

Insert God hysterically laughing right here.

Remember – I like to plan, control and know what is around the corner.  This is one time in my life I can look back and say that I was dead wrong.  That God’s plan for mine and my husband’s life was way better than any I could have come up with!

My heart was changed because I fell in love with a man who wanted to be a father and I like to give gifts that are really wanted.  So my pursuit of becoming a mother a third time kicked into gear and I went into the world of adoption with no inkling of what to do first after making a quick stop at gestational surrogacy.

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I did all the things most people do when wanting to adopt.  I  read books, online searching, chat rooms, asked advice, contacted lawyers and agencies and so on and so on.  There were so many different things to figure out for our family.  There were moments of despair and moments of excitement, moments of gratitude, and moments of frustration.

Fortunately – for our family things worked out.  After two years we found ourselves falling in love with a screaming little baby girl with dark hair and big eyes within 15 minutes of being born.   Not all adoption journeys end like this and honestly there were days we didn’t believe it would for us.

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So for those of you that are waiting to be chosen, to add to your family we wish you the best of luck.  We pray that you are able to stay strong in your wait and that it brings you closer together as a family unit.  I can’t promise you a fairy tale ending but know that when I hear your story, I can relate and will always respect your decision to adopt.

No words can really express how much respect I have for the birth parents that share their children with others.  That grow families through their love.  Thank you is not enough but is what I will say.

Thanks for stopping by,

Julie