Posted in 2018, Adoption, family

The Month Of November

November is a month  when we normally start to wind down around the farm.  This year has been one for the books in regards to our farming operation but today I do not plan to blog about the farm.  I wanted to visit with you about a different topic, one that is far greater to our hearts than farming.

Over 10 years ago we were blessed to become parents to our youngest daughter through adoption.  For those of you that don’t know, November is National Adoption Month.  For a few years I did an adoption series which you can find here.

20181121_133258

Before we made our way through our adoption journey I didn’t really give adoption a great deal of thought.  Here and there through the years it sprinkled itself. My first major interaction with it was when my oldest daughter was adopted by my first husband, which was a pretty simple thing he took care of mostly.  But other than that I only knew a few people who were adopted.

We/I went into the adoption sector of life without having a clue and today as I look back I feel like I am a very lucky lady.  When people tell me they are beginning their own journey I instantly get the feeling of what that felt like for me. For someone who usually  likes to be in control and know what is around the corner,  adoption was a tad hard for me at times!

The point to which brought us to adoption was one that began clear back when I was 26 and still married to my first husband, I had no clue that the decision I made when I was 26 would affect my life in this manner in my 30’s.

Jumping to that stage in my life I found myself married to a man who had no children and raising children were closer to being grown than small children.  I started this motherhood thing at 17 and had in my mind once they were raised I could live my life the way I wanted! 🙂

Insert God hysterically laughing right here.

Remember – I like to plan, control and know what is around the corner.  This is one time in my life I can look back and say that I was dead wrong.  That God’s plan for mine and my husband’s life was way better than any I could have come up with!

My heart was changed because I fell in love with a man who wanted to be a father and I like to give gifts that are really wanted.  So my pursuit of becoming a mother a third time kicked into gear and I went into the world of adoption with no inkling of what to do first after making a quick stop at gestational surrogacy.

13988237_10206816282791705_5912748087073167195_o

I did all the things most people do when wanting to adopt.  I  read books, online searching, chat rooms, asked advice, contacted lawyers and agencies and so on and so on.  There were so many different things to figure out for our family.  There were moments of despair and moments of excitement, moments of gratitude, and moments of frustration.

Fortunately – for our family things worked out.  After two years we found ourselves falling in love with a screaming little baby girl with dark hair and big eyes within 15 minutes of being born.   Not all adoption journeys end like this and honestly there were days we didn’t believe it would for us.

us day 2

So for those of you that are waiting to be chosen, to add to your family we wish you the best of luck.  We pray that you are able to stay strong in your wait and that it brings you closer together as a family unit.  I can’t promise you a fairy tale ending but know that when I hear your story, I can relate and will always respect your decision to adopt.

No words can really express how much respect I have for the birth parents that share their children with others.  That grow families through their love.  Thank you is not enough but is what I will say.

Thanks for stopping by,

Julie

 

 

Posted in 2016, Adoption, Raising Them Up

We Share Her – Adoption

Our name is the same, we are very similar in age, and each of us is a type of mother to my youngest child.  I’ve never met the woman who I share these few things with.  I doubt I ever will.

newborn infant

On a morning when said child thought it was still cool to cuddle with Mom,  these were the thoughts in my head.     As I snuggled my nose into her soft brown hair I thought of her birth mother.  Who knows the reason this woman came to mind, perhaps because she plays such a large role in our lives, yet she is absent.

When I look at the child she carried for nine months I feel many emotions on any given day.  But today the emotion is one of thanks.  Thankful that this woman chose life.  She chose to give birth, which in turn created a chain of events.

A man became a father for the first time.

dad and daughter

A couple ready to close the door on growing their family was able to move forward.

Sisters received a sibling.

Extended family received a granddaughter, niece, and cousin.

God received another child through baptism.

A dog received a little girl to play with.

Teachers another student.

Friends an additional playmate.

A piano new fingers to play upon it.

Chickens a caretaker.

Wild Kratts, Paw Patrol, Legos, yet another big fan.

And this is only in the first eight years of her life, who knows what lies ahead!

girl daughter child

I respect the birth mother even though we have never spoke. She deserves it, no matter what other choices she has made in her life.

I’m sure she thinks of our little girl.  The little girl who now I call daughter.  The little girl who if you didn’t know she was adopted, you probably would never guess was.

girl daughter

Her dark brown hair resembles her adoptive mom’s and her eyes are dark brown, like her adoptive Grandpa’s.  Her quieter and calmer demeanor reminds one of her adoptive father, while her long fingers resemble none of us.

No matter what the reasons were for her to be adopted,  life is happening as we speak.  A life that with her own choices will bring it’s own chain of events. The good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful. She brings much to our lives and we couldn’t imagine life without her.

Not all adoption situations are easy, good, or even doable. Adoption can be hard and fabulous all at the same time.  It can bring you to your knees and it can build you up to the highest mountaintop!  No two adoption stories is alike. They may be similar but never alike.  My hope is that people will not give up on choosing life or adopting.

On this day, when I snuggled the soon to be eight year old even closer and kissed her head I made sure to whisper to her how very happy I am to be her Mommy. Then I silently said a word of thanks to the other woman, the one that gave birth to her.

Grace is a gift,
Julie

 *NOTE:  Not all adoption situations are easy, good, or even doable. Adoption can be hard and fabulous all at the same time.  It can bring you to your knees and it can build you up to the highest mountaintop!  No two adoption stories is alike. They may be similar but never alike.  My hope is that people will not give up on choosing life or adopting.

Read more  by clicking the link below.

Adoption Series – In Between the Sunsets of Life & Pushing Forward with Grace